An Argument Over Popcorn

I have a nine-year-old son. He’s brilliant. Like, let’s-practice-algebra-for-fun brilliant. Like he already corrects people’s grammar and pronunciation (and not always so diplomatically; he gets it from me). He seriously is gifted.

But he’s also very much a nine-year-old boy. One minute, we are discussing Algebra or the definition of some complicated word that I’m surprised he can pronounce, and the next minute he’s asking me which Angry Bird I want to be. Our conversations can go from stimulating to mind-numbing at the turn of a dime.

This afternoon, he asked me if he could have popcorn for his afternoon snack (He just learned how to use the microwave*, so he’s very excited to use it). I said, “Sure. Can you make me some, too?”

Kid: Ugggghhhhhhh It will take too long…

Me: Nevermind. Just get your own. I’ll get mine later.

Kid: (goes into kitchen and comes back). Here! I have special popcorn for you! (hands me a bag of cheddar popcorn).

Me: I don’t want this popcorn.

Kid: But you said you wanted popcorn!

Me: I do. But I don’t want the cheddar popcorn. I want the other one.

Kid: (dramatic audible sigh). I don’t get it. You said you wanted popcorn, so why don’t you want that popcorn?

… At what age does my husband explain to him the fine details of the woman’s arbitrary choices? When do we teach him that a large part of his adult life in a relationship with a woman will consist of guessing what she wants when she wants it?

I texted my husband that the kid was arguing with me. Being the problem-solving man that he is, he gave me suggestions on how to reason with him. I texted back, “He just doesn’t understand the feminine mystique.” Enough said.**


*No, I do not wish to hear about the dangerous chemicals found in microwave popcorn, nor do I wish to receive criticism for feeding my son the dreaded microwave popcorn. It isn’t the point of the post, and if you don’t get that, please stop reading my blog.

**No, I do not care to discuss feminism and the meaning behind the term “feminine mystique.” I am a strong woman who is proud of who I am. I also know that women can be a little crazy sometimes.


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