Perspective

I had a lovely weekend. I credit much of that to the extra fluids I received intravenously and to the care I took to keep myself hydrated. I was able to attend a full-day spiritual event that I had been looking forward to for weeks. So many people approached me and hugged me (hoping that won’t bite me in the butt this week), ecstatic that I was present. It was moving to see how many people had heard in passing, and how much they wanted to offer expressions of affection and love. It is because of our Heavenly Father hearing and answering these people’s prayers that I am coping with this diagnosis so well.

Sunday we got to spend with one of my favorite families in the world! It was such a respite from the barrage of attention I’ve been receiving lately. There were no glances at my head (that I noticed); no looks of concern. Just down to earth fun. M and I swung on swings at a playground; we drank wine and watched TV; and sat around by a bonfire with our kids. It is the most normal I’ve felt lately, and I am so grateful to them for allowing me to just chill.

I saw my sister off last night  with a Manhattan in a cocktail glass she painted for me (remind me to post a picture of it) and her homemade cheesecake (yum). She will be back to visit with her hubs in three weeks, so the goodbye was not quite so bittersweet.

This morning, after dealing with the initial dry-mouth, dry nose, stuffiness that is Chemo treatment, I planned my outfit and applied my makeup (thanks to my friend A for the amazing eyeshadow palettes!). I even tied my scarf by myself!IMG_2252

Clearly, I was proud of today’s look. I am actually quite enjoying the whole outfit/makeup/hat/scarf planning and execution. Not that I’m glad that I have cancer or anything … but it is awfully fun to take a little extra time to make oneself pretty. In fact, I’m thinking about posting different looks, and sharing what makeup I use … almost like a beauty blog post or something like that. What do you all think?

It reminded me that significant events … marriage, birth of a child, major illness … really help to put life into perspective. As anyone who knows me is aware, I am typically a pretty high-strung person. Always tense and anxious, I usually have a heck of a time unwinding at the end of a day.

But since my treatment started, I’ve begun a new routine. Bedtime is earlier (which I’m sure mostly has to do with the chemo), routines are more relaxing to me. I’m enjoying my evening tea as much as I used to enjoy my evening Manhattan (I know, weird, right?!). I look forward to blogging. I feel closer to my Heavenly Father. My heart swells with appreciation to my friends near and far; old and new; fair-weather and steadfast.

The outpouring of love, prayers, and generosity is beyond comprehension. Since my diagnosis, barely a day has gone by that I have not received a card, care package, flowers, or gift. Today alone, I received seven hand-knit hats and two huge cases (24-can) of La Croix. (By the way, please let me know if you sent it because I want to send a thank you).

Ironically, tonight I feel happier than I have in quite awhile. Truly, to love and to be loved is the sweetest feeling in this world. It really doesn’t take much to be happy if we we open our eyes and hearts and welcome all the beauty that exists each and every day. My heart swells with gratitude to each person who has helped me appreciate this.

xoxo

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